“There is something special – something that’s good for our souls – about being outdoors in God’s creation.”
These wise words were spoken by a friend of mine over the weekend as we took some time out in the bush to refresh our hearts. This is simply speculation, as I don’t know of any biblical evidence for it; but I wonder if being outdoors is so good for us because it was where we were designed to be? I mean God didn’t create a block of apartments for Adam and Eve…he created a garden for them to live in! Like I said, it’s only speculation, but it kind of makes sense in my head.
I have mentioned this before, but I do find being outdoors very therapeutic and energising – and it’s not just me! Most psychologists and doctors will tell you that getting outside and doing exercise is great therapy for depression and grief. This being said, I have found one gigantic obstacle when it comes to depression and exercise: motivation!
It’s an awful cycle. I feel down and lacking of energy so I stay in bed or on the couch in my trackies. The longer I do this, the worse I feel. The worse I feel, the less I want to go out…and so on and so forth. Come a week later and I look like a zombie and feel like a vampire – shying away from any form of sunlight lest in hurts my eyes and burns my skin! And the worst thing about it all is that I know that as soon as I get outside I will feel better but my body is screaming ‘NO!’ Gah, it’s such a vicious cycle.
Thankfully, I was able to get out over the long weekend and breathe in some fresh air (and thankfully it wasn’t too sunny or my pale skin would have shrivelled up like a mandarin peel on the pavement!). Although I thoroughly enjoyed it, there was definitely a sense of sadness as a result of Matt’s absence. I think knowing that camping was one of the things Matthew and I were looking forward to doing together makes it hard when I do it without him. There were a few other families camping at the site with their kids and it reminded me of what I have lost. It reminded me that I will never have that experience with Matt now. I have to admit, there was one point where I wanted to ask – or yell at – the other campers to stop being so happy. This grief thing has turned me into a bit of a bitch.
If I had to think of one good thing about not having Matt camping with us over the weekend it would be his frustratingly long legs. Whenever we went climbing or exploring together I would be scrambling over the rocks on my bum in what must of seemed like slow motion, and I would look up and see Matt hopping from rock to rock like a happy little mountain goat on acid! It drove me insane…that is, until he was able to help me over a creek or lower (more like ‘controlled drop’) me down a boulder.
He loved me and he loved being outdoors…and most of all he loved being outdoors with me. And I loved it too – long legs and all. I’m going to miss him and I’m going to miss adventuring outdoors with him, but I think need to keep doing it. I think it’s where I belong.