Matthew got mail this morning. It is so strange opening the mailbox and seeing his name – alongside my address – printed on paper.
My stomach drops and my jaw clenches. It’s hard, but I like it. I like the way it reminds me that this hasn’t all just been a bad dream; that Matthew did live here and we were married.
That is one thing that I often worry about; that I will forget.
That I will forget what he sounded like. That I will forget what he looked like. That I will forget the way he loved me. I guess that’s partially why I continue to blog. It helps me remember, and it records those precious memories.
I started my day with a short drive and a walk at Belmore falls. I am so thankful for the place I live. God does not withhold His glory and creativity down here!
After my walk I returned home for a cuppa, a shower, some lunch, and a book. I’ve just finished reading Corrie Ten Boom’s book Tramp for the Lord, and have been super encouraged and challenged by her story. Here is a woman who suffered immensely at the hands of man, but never stopped powering-on for the Lord. What an inspiration! She writes:
‘When Jesus is with you, the worst can happen and the best remains.’
I have been both reminded and rebuked by that truth. Even though the worst has happened, I still have Jesus and he will not leave me.