The worst thing about grief is that there isn’t anything we can do about it. No matter how many people tell you they care, no matter how many people are “thinking of you in this time”, no matter how many people send flowers or food, no matter how many people are praying for you, no matter what you do, it doesn’t change the fact that someone has died. All these things are generous and lovely – but in the end they don’t bring my husband back. He is gone and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. And for those of us who like quick fixes and ways around hurt and pain, that is awful. And that is hard.