Blegh . . .



As the days continue to pass I am finding myself more and more weary. 

My nights are plagued with dreams, each different from the night before. Though they differ, one thing remains constant: Matthew.

Be it his presence or absence; he is central. 

I wake feeling  worn out and my day passes in the nightmare’s shadow.

Over the last few weeks I have struggled to even open my college books. On the rare occasions I manage to sit surrounded by text books and notes, I seem to only be able to concentrate for five or so minutes. It’s hopeless. I thought that study would be a positive thing for me to focus my energy into, but what happens when you have no energy to expel?

I often feel like a zombie and even the thought of having to study and complete my subject is wearing me down. 

Is it possible that things are still getting harder and harder?

Is it normal?

Who knows.

xx zs




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