“So, what do you?”

“At the moment? Not a lot.”

When I meet new people, this question always (and I mean always) comes up. I don’t think that this is a bad thing – I often ask ask this question of others as I gives me insight into who they are. The problem that I do have though, is that people often define us by what we do. This has never really been an issue for me until I stopped doing things; until Matt’s accident. 

When I answer with my generic “not a lot”, the asker of the question frequently replies with an “oh”, and a confused look.

In general, society tells us that we must always be doing something – working, studying, parenting, retiring, etc. – and if at any point in our lives we aren’t taking part in one of these things, then there is something wrong with us. It frustrates me that I feel less of a person because I don’t fit into one of these categories at this time in my life. I am not working. I have had to withdraw from my studies for the time being. I’m not a Mum. I’m not retired. I am taking the time I need to breathe. I am getting involved in the church again. I am reading. I am resting. I am grieving.

I am not defined by what I do or don’t do – I am defined by Christ and what He has done and what He is doing in me – and I am so comforted by this truth.

xx zs



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