Quite some time has passed since I last posted on this blog. I feel like so much has happened, but at the same time so little has changed – and I haven’t really had the words or motivation to write about it.
That being said; here are a couple things that have occurred in the life of Zoe over the past couple of months:
Our first wedding anniversary came and went. Christmas came and went. I wasn’t sure what to expect on these days; would I be a mess? Would I be fine? Would I want to be around others? Or would I want to be alone? In the end these days were just like any other days – they were sad and lonely, no matter what I did or who I was with. I think they were best summed up by this message I received from a friend on our wedding anniversary:
‘I’ve been trying to find the words to say to you today. But then I realised that it’s not just today. Or Christmas. Or birthdays. Or any other special occasions. It’s every day. Every occasion. Every moment…my heart breaks for you every day but I know that one day you will be set free from the burden of grief.’
I also attended an eight day leadership conference (more on this to come!) on which I met many beautiful people and which taught me many things; the main one being that I can still function as a real person. As a result of this I have committed to the youth ministry in my church and have sought employment (my first job since Matt’s death). I am still a little unsure of weather or not I am completely ready for these responsibilities, but I think it is now or never.
God is good and is continuing to teach me many things about Himself :)